It's a painful realization yet it's true. We go through times where we become complacent and Jesus is nothing but a routine. Perhaps, you can identify with me. So what are we to do with it? Make pity party for ourselves? Draw away because we are so undeserving to get near His presence? Realize that the focus was never about how much we love Him. Rather, it was all about the full expression of  His attributes and character in Your life. He is not just mighty to save. His love is the greatest to cover your shortcomings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.  I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.  The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?  It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.

~ Song of Solomon 3; 1-4 ~

( ....excerpted from my journal dated 4/05/2011.....)

My heart is sorrowful tonight. Many times I have sinned against You. I'm not loving You as You deserved to be loved. I'm letting things,yes, even good things steal my heart away from You.

Away from having sweet communion with You in prayer and devotion.
Of being alone with You.
Of being still and silent, waiting for Your presence to engulf me.
Knowledge about You is useless if my heart is dull. I'm afraid of my heart Lord. How fast it grows cold. I don't want to stay this way!

I want to desire You!
To love You deeply!
That all I'll ever breathe is You!
That every rhythm of my heart sings for You!
For my heart to skip a beat at the mere thought of You, at a single utterance of Your Name.
 I want You to be my greatest obsession!

 My heart, my heart oh God! Help me for I'm desperate! Say again to my soul that I am Yours. I beg You! The inner witness of Your spirit is my only consolation. Only You dear Jesus! I don't want any other man to tell me You love me. Shed abroad Your love in my heart.

I learned to do things the cordilleran way.   I love anything that has a cordilleran touch.

I love this song because it portrays what I am, a cordilleran girl who found true love in Jesus.

THIS DIVINE ROMANCE

How could a country girl like me
Become Your match — Your bride to be?
You're holy and You are divine
But I'm fallen and human.

Isa 61:10  I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.

Without You, Lord, I have no chance
To be like You in this romance.
But You chose me ere the world began
Nothing could change Your plan.

Eph 1:4  According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

    This divine romance
Is My heart's deep plan.
I became a lowly man
To court My country girl.

SS:7  Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

   Nothing could deter,
Nothing can alter
My eternal love for her;
I'll gain My country girl.

Jer 31:3  The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

No man or angel ever knew
This secret hidden deep in You
That You desired to be one with man
Before the world began.

Eze 16:8  Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine.

Though sin came in to ruin me
Through Satan's scheme and subtlety
Nothing could break Your love for me
To gain me totally.

Isa 1:18  Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

As King of kings You became a man,
You died for me—I've been redeemed,
In resurrection made us queen
To marry You, my King.

Rev 19:7  Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.

Rev 21:2  And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

     From death You 'rose and entered me,
I now possess Your divinity;
In life and nature we're the same:
Both human and divine.

Rom 5:18  Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life.

Rom 5:19  For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.

1Co 8:6  But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we by him.

Heb 10:14  For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.

Heb 10:12  But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God;

    In Your love I'm drawn,

To You I belong;
I am not my own, Lord,
I'm Yours alone.

Eze 11:19  And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh:

    By Your love I'm drawn,
In Your name I'm charmed,
And Your Person captured me,
For I've been kissed by Thee.

    

Son 1:4  Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.

  Lord, in this close sweet fellowship,
Lord, be with me so intimate,
So personal and affectionate;
A sweet relationship.

Son 4:9  Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck.

Lord, daily change my inward being
Lord, all my heart possessing
In all my being—transforming
To be Your bride and queen.

Eph 5:27  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

I constantly ponder what a woman's life would feel and look like when she's in love with Jesus. I aim to use this blog as a mirror where I may see how I'm being shaped by Christ's love. 

"...I raised thee up under the apple tree; there thy mother brought thee forth,there she brought thee forth that bare thee."

"...then I was in his eyes as one that found favor."

~ Song of Solomon 8:5,10~

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who was loved by a Prince even before her birth was confirmed.

I want to write a story..

..about  a lady who was lovingly nurtured and cared for by her parents whom the Prince blessed.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady whose innocence was well-guarded in her younger years as the Prince desired though she despised it.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who ungratefully received continual provisions from the Prince.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who, having finally met the Prince, yet still oblivious of his love, drudgingly spent some time with him.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who, at the discovery of her feminine charm, used it to manipulate people (especially men) to her advantage.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who, upon looking at the excitement of  life in  a world bigger than hers, left the safety of the Prince’s watch.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who  got persuaded into blending in. She made efforts to change what she really was and this grieved the heart of the Prince.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who drank gaiety, cup after cup, completely forgetting everything, including the Prince.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who faced many perils but was untiringly rescued by the Prince.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who frequently ignores a noble Prince whose only fault was to spend his whole  life loving her.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who, despite all the things the Prince did for her, rejected him.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady whose fickle heart was persistently wooed by the Prince.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who was unceasingly loved by the Prince.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who never  had any romantic thoughts towards the Prince because she was busy looking out.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady whom the Prince tenderly wore down with unconditional love, grace, and mercy.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who started seeing the Prince in all his beauty and excellence, as if she had been given a new pair of eyes.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady whose soul started to cleave on the charming Prince’s.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady,who was restless and puzzled with her new-found emotion towards the Prince.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who tried to diminish her feelings because she thought it unrealistic and childish.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who, when the prince decided to walk away, chased and begged him to stay.

I want to write a story..

..about a lady who finally said, “ I no longer just think that I love you, I’m in love with you. “

I want to write a story..

..about a lady whom the Prince asked, “ Will you be my bride?”

Some men look for supermodel look-alikes,

But He sought a vile and defiled woman.

Some men eye ready-made virtuous women,

 While He labored to wash clean His love.

Some men used headship to lord over their wives,

While He used it to meekly serve His beloved.

Some men resort to violence to punish a woman’s defiance,

Yet He lovingly died for a bride who called for His death.

I was hesitant to go for a walk with You. The gloomy sky was not encouraging.

Furthermore, I felt rain droplets. I was about to step back but You held my hand. With a sigh, I obliged.

I asked You to hold back the rain for me. Few steps, more steps, and then few more until I reached our haven. The wind was a little harsh and it’s freezing my bones. I offered a short prayer to our Father in heaven then sat down. I couldn’t think well with all the blows I’m receiving from the wind. Consequently, I lay down and stared at the cloudy firmament, mind blank and body still.

My eyes widen when I realized You cleared the clouds. I watched two birds chased each other.

As if that wasn’t enough to cheer me up, You brought the sun from the east with all its golden rays. I no longer felt cold. With eyes closed and a smile, I basked in Your presence. No one could color my world better than You.

 

" I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh,saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew. and my locks with the drops of the night." ~ Song of Solomon 5:2 ~

" I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him,but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer."

~ Song of Solomon 5:6 ~

My Prince,

How I'm easily consumed by my flesh! How it whines for earthly comforts! Nonetheless, I have to fight to keep a passionate heart for You. Help me for I can't do it on my own strength. Getting addicted to earthly pleasures is easy but please, be my obsession instead. As brother Paul Washer said; " my magnificent obsession."

         " A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed."

{Song of Solomon 4:12}

 My Prince,

I am Yours even before the foundation of the world. I was rebellious and elusive. I kept running away from You. However, a valiant man that You are, You sought me out. I was held captive by the dragon, locked into the darkness. You fought for my freedom, and it cost Your life. You died for me..........

That reduced me to tears. How beautiful is Your love that won't let go!

Nevertheless, You specialize in happy endings. You arose victoriously from death. You are life, my life. Let me be shut in You. I will prosper as a garden and from my belly flow the well-spring of life. I will also bear fruits for Your enjoyment as I do to You.

( John 7:38-39, Song of Solomon 5:1, Galatians 5:22-23)

" Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister,my spouse: thou hast ravished my heart with one of   thine eyes,with one chain of thy neck."
          [Song of Solomon 4:9]

My Prince,

 How You delight in me! It pleased me to hear Your heart throbbing each time I lift up my eyes upon You. Never hide Your face from me for it's my heart's joy to behold it. No matter what, I wouldn't trade these intimate moments with anything that the world offers. I will stand to protect our love above any earthly relationships. Why! It's my most beautiful experience and there would be no such other thing to outshine it.

" Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely:

thy temples are like a piece of  pomegranate within thy locks."      
{Song of Solomon 4:3}

(googled photo)

My Prince,

The words that I speak are Yours. It gives life to anyone who hears it. It brings joy and comfort to the lonely. I hid them in my heart that I may not stray away from You. For a life without You is miserable.

(John 6:63,Psalm 119:11)

      " Thou art all fair my love, there is no blemish in thee."

                           {Song of Solomon 4:7}

My Prince,

How humble of You, the most honorable of all to wash my feet. I was not worthy of Your affections yet You showered me with Your love holding nothing back. Not only that I'm cleansed from the inside out, You tenderly ministered to my daily purification through Your Word and Spirit. I'm deeply humbled by the realization that I'm personally tended by the Prince of Peace. I may never match Your great love( for You love me more than I can comprehend) yet will I love You in return both now and throughout eternity.                                                         (John 13:4-5)

"Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead."

[Song of Solomon 4;1]

(googled photo)

My Prince,

Just as the goats' hair shine at sunset so am I radiant before your eyes. The time I stepped into your light, all my filthiness were exposed. You cleansed me by the washing of Your precious blood and I was made white as snow. You clothed me with Your righteousness so now I am comely. Therefore, I became Yours and You sanctified me for Yourself. The time is near when You will present me to the Father. I won't be ashamed for You will present me having no spot nor wrinkle. All of heavens will see me in Your Divine holiness and without blemish.

(Ephesians 5:23-27)

I went with Jesus for a walk in His garden. The scene was spectacular. I merrily poured out my delight over the beautiful flowers and in chasing butterflies. Jesus was pleased to see me happy.  I noticed he was staring lovingly at a flower. As I approached Him, I noticed a stunning lily in bloom. I was awe-struck and couldn't speak.

"Isn't she lovely?" He asked.

I nodded without taking my eyes off the lily.

"My darling, you are the lily." He smiled sweetly.

That threw me into confusion.

"That's impossible! I can't be as pretty as this lily. You know me. In sin did my mother conceive me (Psalm 51:6b), so I lived a filthy life. How gracious of you, the most beautiful of all, to look away from yourself and see my ugliness. You can't stand it because you are of purer eyes than to behold evil and can't look on iniquity (Habakkuk 1:3a). But grace upon grace, You stretched forth Your arm, drew me near, cleansed me, and I became Yours. "Yet, Lord, I can't be likened to the beauty of this lily, regardless of the good works I've done in Your name." I protested.

Jesus smiled and lovingly answered;

"Dearest, you really are as beautiful as this lily. "That is the reason I can look at you with love."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," was my baffled response.

He then patiently explained.

"The moment you were born again by my Spirit through your faith in Me, we became one. I see myself in you, and you are in me. "You weren't only cleansed by My blood; My beauty clothed your whole being too."

Those dear words engulfed my heart. Tears of joy well my eyes. Despite the lump in my throat, I heard myself say;
"What a tremendous blessing I have in You, Lord Jesus Christ!" 

He charmingly smiled then stroked the lily's petals, but his gaze was fixed on me.

"As the lily among the thorns, so are you among the daughters" (SS 2:2). Do not listen to the voice of the world yelling at you to conform to their standards. Be not afraid of anything, for I have redeemed you for myself. I have called you by your name. You are mine (Isa. 43:1b). "Delight in me, and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)."

 

Those words in my ears were music, and honey to my taste. Should I not have been spiritually strengthened, I may have lost my mind. It's so intoxicating! Seeing my bewilderment, he extended his hand and spoke softly;

"Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away" (SS 2:13). 

I smiled and clasped his hands. With a silent prayer, I thanked our Father for sending my Prince to rescue me from the cruel master, a.k.a Sin. With Him, my heart is safe.