...become the woman I see in Your eyes.

..not what men thought of me..

..not what well-meaning people expect me to be..

Lord, I just want to be defined by You.

(photo from tumblr)

  Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
~ Philippians 3:8~

As for her, she doesn’t want to content herself just knowing things about God and relying on secondhand information about His Person. She is resolved to be among those who know Him, personally and intimately. And He is letting her. He has given her firsthand access to Him. She does this not to repay Him for everything He’s done nor to gain favor in His sight. It isn’t because this is what a Christian does. Rather, because this is what a new creature in Christ is. Every fiber of her being is now dependent upon the union of her soul with Christ.

 “If my life is surrendered to God, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in His hand but would be safer in mine!”
― Elisabeth Elliot“

By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity

   

“Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His lordship.”
― Elisabeth Elliot

 

 “I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, Through Gates of Splendor: 40th Anniversary Edition

I'd say that these words

 illustrate well the lives of 'Bereans' 

(those who seek God constantly)

starting from the ancient times to date.

(photo from tumblr)

a colloquy with Jesus on...

Psalm 37:4  

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

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I can't say that I fully comprehend what I'm asking, but please give me Your heart.
The heart brimming with an unquenchable passion for God.

The heart so pure that it doesn't get entangled with pride and self-glorification. 
The heart with a singular delight of seeing pleasure in the face of the Holy One.

Give me..
the heart
whose longing
 is for God 
to satisfy 
the desires 
He has placed on it.

Sometimes, stepping back from "radical, 'action now' for the great commission" type of mentality is healthy for your spirituality. I understand the feeling of being burdened for the lost.Hence, we tend to make plans and strategies on how we can bring more people to Christ by starting this or that ministry. We do have good intentions, but the way most Christians do the 'Great Commission' these days seems to me that we're outrunning God. Having said that, I'm guilty and not excluding myself  from that same fault. Finally, after some hard-learned lessons, I resolved to let God be God on how He runs things. So instead of praying that He'll send me somewhere(where there's less or probably zero knowledge of the gospel), or let me handle some ministries(just to make myself 'useful' in His kingdom), I settled with just having the privilege of seeing Him do mighty things for His glory. I can only wait with excitement and anticipation as He does all the work of drawing people to Himself. Does this mean I'm advocating laziness in laboring for the 'Great Harvest'? Of course not! No true follower of Jesus keeps his/her mouth shut from speaking of Him. In fact, he/she likes bragging about Him because He's rightfully worthy.

You might be scratching your head now thinking,' just what point am I trying to make here?' Nothing big. God just made me give up all self-efforts of trying to be proactively 'helpful' for Him. I'm bad at it anyway. He's the Driver of my life, so I shouldn't be a backseat driver pointing directions on where He should lead me. 

He's tirelessly seeking my other lost brothers and sisters, and He's taking me with Him! Yay! Where He leads, I'll go and where He stops, I'll stop.

It doesn't matter who people think I am,

 Be it Christian, Born -Again, Baptist, Jesus' Freak, Jesus' Follower, 

Jesus' Disciple, Evangelical, etc...

(photo from tumblr)

What matters is that He knows me.

I only care to know who I am in Him.

The Gospel is not about going to heaven nor escaping hell. 

It is about Jesus- the incarnate Love of the Father to us.

It's about having a life in Him for we were all dead in sin, condemned to hell.

Oftentimes, we focus more on the benefits and not the 'Person'

(photo from tumblr)

The  Gospel starts,centers,and ends with Him.

Why do I fight for a heart desirous of intimately loving You?

(photo from google)

* I was dead and now I'm alive. 

I want to live. 

If my heart is dead to respond to Your love, 

how else can my soul live?

Nobody is unassailable to pain. We cry..over..various ..things..

 (photo from google) 

However, have we ever shed tears for God? Have we wept over our inability to really love Him? I know the focus is not on how much we love Him but on how much He loves us. Nonetheless, have we ever cried because of Him? Were there times that our hearts were so overwhelmed by His love that we burst out sobbing? Yes, God wants us to be joyful Christians, but there are times that crying can't be helped. Tears will continue to stream down until that glorious day when God Himself will wipe them away from our eyes.

(photo from google)

" Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." ~ Matthew 5:3 ~

(photo from google)

Bless Your Name Lord for I was born poor. In lacking the luxuries of this world, I was averted from self-indulgence.

Bless Your Name Lord for I grew up poor. Always in need. Always in want. Those made me depend on You.

Bless Your Name Lord for I stayed poor. I cannot have what others have, and I cannot do what others do. Through it, my heart found its fulfillment in You.

Bless Your Name Lord for You made me poor. Poor in my body and poor in my spirit. 

For in my poverty, I have savored Your fulness. In my being a pauper I was  welcomed in Your kingdom.

(photo from google)

Jesus stated many radical things in the Bible. Many got offended and left. Will you also walk away? Why do you follow Jesus? Is it more because of His Person  than His provisions?

(John 6:66-67)

Luke7:23  And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me. 

I am but a stage where You display Yourself. Your love, grace, mercy, joy, meekness, and faithfulness.

I am but a beggar and everything in my hands are Yours.  (1 Cor. 4:7)

My brain is Yours, let it think great thoughts about You. ( Rom. 12:2)

My eyes are Yours, let it continually behold Your beauty. ( Psalm 27:4, Isa. 33:17)

My lips are Yours, let it speak Your truth. ( Pro. 8:7)

My ears are Yours, let it hear Your still small voice. (Deut. 4:36, Ps. 95:7)

My heart is Yours, let it beat for the things that You love. ( Eze. 11:19, 36:26)

My hands are Yours, let it do works of righteousness. ( 1 Cor. 4:12, 1 Th. 4:11)

My feet are Yours, let it go to the places where Your Name is unheard. ( Isa. 52:7, Rom. 10:15)

Only make me not bring myself with its prejudices and self- preservation. Rather,carry me, clothed in Your grace, mercy and unconditional love, to the place where You will seek my lost  brothers and sisters.

While it is true that to be in 'mission is merely an opportunity to die' ( Amy Carmichael), my life, however, is not what they needed but You, O Lord.

Go before me in all Your glory, beauty, and majesty. I can't win the war without You. The battle is Yours. (  Sam. 17:47)

((photo from tumblr)

Before you turn into a spitfire for my seemingly irreverent address to the Almighty God, may I just say that those are my doting words for our Heavenly Father? I know, just like you; I thought it inappropriate at first to even think that our God was an inconvenience. However, as we learn more of His glorious nature, attributes, and character as revealed in the Bible, and of our spiritual experiences of Him, we’ll have to admit that He’s not the comfortable God our finite minds have pictured, or should I say, pigeon holed?

Perhaps you can identify with my idle flesh when at times it doesn’t want to yield to the Spirit’s voice of witnessing to somebody. Truth is, not all of my soul winning acts were moved by a natural compassion for souls. When I try to resist the Spirit’s urging, the burden of my indifferent attitude shatters me. It’s just too great and my pride, with all its self-justifications, could not withstand it, so I end up on my knees crying. Having the same sentiment of  Paul in 1 Cor. 9:16, let me say, ‘woe is unto me if I preach not the gospel’. We cannot love people enough to toil for their souls but the love of Christ powerfully constrains us to obey (2 Cor. 5:14).

Now, this is not just in application to the great commission. It’s for all the commands of Christ. Love thy neighbor as thyself (Mark 12:3). Like the first great commandment have we stopped and really pondered what ‘loving others’ mean? Then in John 13:34 Jesus goes on to say,

“A new commandment I give unto you. That ye love one another, as I have loved you, that ye love one another.”

Come to think of it. A new commandment? Why? Well, for me, I know for a fact that I don’t love myself that much. Oftentimes, I abused my body through accepting many workloads, pushing beyond my limit because asking for help makes me feel embarrassed.  Furthermore, I have frequently endangered my ‘being’ by carelessly believing people. Being gullible (and I don’t mean reaching the point of stupidity) is my greatest source of trouble! So if I can’t fully love myself, then how much less others?

You see? Loving our neighbor must not be based on our version of self-love but by Christ’s. Love them as Jesus loved us. The greatest quality of His love is that it gives, demanding nothing in return. Loving like He does is a call to servant hood. You won’t just be called a servant; you will, literally, be treated like one! And you know what its most difficult test is? That is, with the people closest to you, your family. It’s easy to develop a servant attitude for anyone outside your family, but it’s so hard with your siblings! When they’re being a pain in your neck, you can’t help becoming a contemptuous servant.

I’m laughing as I say this, ‘if only I’ve seen this coming, I should have not prayed to God my conformity to the image of Christ.’ Now He’s tremendously giving me lots of opportunities to be Christ-like in the persons of my family (I dote on them okay?) and other visible faces of discomforts. If we’re to be honest with ourselves, we repetitively go through a state of physical unease whenever we practice selfless love. Do I sound like complaining? I’m not, but I wish I could say I’m one of those dynamic Christians, who was just filled with much love for everyone and never once thought of self- preservation. Nevertheless, my flesh constantly protests in God’s sanctifying work in me fearlessly crying, ‘why do You distress me?’ I try hard to silence it for the fear that God would one day thunder in a loud voice saying,

 ‘I am God, Lord of the universe, worshiped in heaven and earth. As your Maker have I not the right to do unto you whatsoever I please?’

Even so, Jesus, in His patience and daily loving kindness, gently shepherds me to continue. The cross was not convenient to Him either .Gradually, He makes me see the reality of His promises in my life. He delights to do me good and not evil (Jer. 29:11). He will not withhold anything necessary to my perfection (Ps. 84:11 Eph. 4:12) for I am His workmanship (Eph. 2:10).

((photo from tumblr)

                        

When God prolongs an answer to our prayers, the enemy would buffet you with doubts regarding the Lord's character. Oftentimes, with me, he uses scriptures to justify complacency over praying for unsaved souls.  Admittedly, I don't have the outright boldness to rebuke the devil of his lies like most dynamic Christians. Helpless, I  can only run to my heavenly Father where I can pour my heart out. Following is an
excerpt from my journal dated 1/8/12:                                                                                                      (photo from tumblr)

Father,

Here, I am waiting. I can't add the words 'until now' because I have not always been 'waiting' or to be precise, 'expecting,' but I am waiting O Lord. I've been praying for the salvation of my loved ones, especially my parents. When, dear Father, will You have mercy on them? When will You draw them to Your saving knowledge? I know Lord that You do things in Your own perfect time. I implore You, dear God. If my being Your child is not enough reason for my prayers to be granted, do it for the sake of the one who selflessly and lovingly died on the cross for the world. Be please Lord to include my family among Your elects. Forbid that Satan would use my shortcomings to repel them from You. I'm getting myself out of the way, letting Jesus come forth. Open their eyes Lord that they may see, and to look unto the face of the perfect Lover. Silence also Lord the whispers from the devil not to be hopeful in regard to the souls of the people You gave me to love. Refuting the wiles of the adversary, You put me into the remembrance of Your Words.

" If God is with you, then why is He not saving your parents despite doing your part of witnessing and  praying for them?"

Father, You said in Your Word that;

a. Your thoughts of me are of peace, and not evil, to give me an expected end ( Jeremiah 29:11)

b. That when I call on You in prayer, You will hearken unto me. ( Jeremiah 29:12)

c. That for every one that asks receives ( Matthew 7:8)

" Your parents may not be among those whom God had chosen to be saved. Remember? He creates some to honor, and some to dishonor."

Lord, the Scriptures say that You loved the world so much to give Your most precious possession, Jesus, Your Son( John 3:16). Father, You also said on Ezekiel 18:23 that You find no pleasure over the death of sinners, and that You want them to find life in You when they repent of their sins.

All I can hold onto are Your promises. I beg You...Oh please dear Lord.....

(photo from google)

To My Future Spouse… 12/31/11

Praying your life be driven by a passion for God and that you will be spent by Him. Love me, and wait for me, as I do to you.

 

 

QUESTION: What is God's ultimate treasure?

ANSWER: It will be heartwarming to think it's us. However, one of the strains (wink) of studying the Bible is that, you won't find the answers you desire. All throughout the Bible, verses (e.g Psalm 72: 8-19) showed that above God's love for us, He is jealous for His glory. Now, as Christians, shouldn't we  be jealous for His glory also? Will we just content ourselves sitting on our neat little churches and ignore the lost? You may have little or no love towards them. Nevertheless,you shouldn't be indifferent about the fact that there are places where God's name is not exalted because no one ever told them of Jesus.